Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
