We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
