I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
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Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
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My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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