while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
