Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
