CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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