is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
