All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize