I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
