I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
