Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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