how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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