"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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