Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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