birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My life is pants optional.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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