i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
