covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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