I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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