hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
