Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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