I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same