Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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