I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
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Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
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Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.