Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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