I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We got so high we made milksteak
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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