Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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