worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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