Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Randomize
