Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
