He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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