ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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