stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
