just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
