My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Did I show you my penis last night?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
