Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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