Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
