So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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