The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
