everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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