Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I pour the whiskey from now on
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
