as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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