Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize