R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
