hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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