I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
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