Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize