He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize