You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
