So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
