Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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