I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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