I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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