Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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