The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize