Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just gargled with NyQuil
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
