You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
