Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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