I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
