yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
