Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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