Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i believe in u and ur pee
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."