He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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