After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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